Expectations

Are not great and are rarely met. There is often a dramatic disconnect between what we imagine will happen and what actually happens. Have you ever heard the expression, “expectations are premeditated resentments?” I seem to learn this lesson over and over again. Or, in reality I am not learning since I make the same mistake over and over again. Our minds are clever at creating expectant scenarios before they happen. I don’t know about you, but I have this habit of thinking that YOU are going to do it just like Me. I have discovered over the years that this leads to an unhealthy situation of control and micromanagement. I often find myself, particularly at the restaurant, locked in this tension of not wanting to control every single detail and just letting go of everything. Having faith that all will work out without my intervention which it often does. I work with amazingly capable and intelligent people who don’t need my input every second. I have finally arrived at the realization that we don’t all do it the the same way, but the outcome is nearly always the same. Different paths, same destination. I have found over the years that asking somebody to do it my way doesn’t allow expression of creativity and incubate confidence. I have witnessed the awkwardness of someone trying to do things my way. I acknowledge the end result will be the same, but our path to get there will vary depending on comfort level and confidence. Mistakes are inevitable and perfection is unattainable, but it doesn’t mean we stop trying it just means we stop killing ourselves in the pursuit. We inject a little (a lot) of compassion and empathy in the process. Mistakes are our greatest teacher and we need to let each other make them without the outcome hinging upon what we expect it SHOULD be. We all have different and varied expectations of ourselves and each other. Our expectations of ourselves dictate the latter. This is where we need to do the work (or at least I do!). Instead of constantly and consistently judging a situation or outcome solely based upon how we think things should be we need to turn the light inward and examine why and how we perceived our particular outcome to be the best. This is difficult. Often times we discover layers of expectations that have attached themselves to us. Things that don’t suit us, but have attached themselves like barnacles.

A restaurant full of all me would turn into a blood bath very quickly. I would hate to work with 25 of me!

My expectation is that I continue to manage my expectations so that I may find peace within myself which will assist me in finding peace with the world around me.