Unsportsmanlike Conduct

I grew up playing both team and individual sports. How we behaved, whether we won or lost, was part of our umvelt. Character and conduct mattered. I was taught, by both my parents and coaches, to accept a loss as graciously as a win. I was consistently told to shake my opponents hand with a firm grip, look them in the eye and declare “GOOD GAME!” I was taught not to clap at someone else’s mistake. That was labeled unsportsmanlike conduct. I had a doubles partner when I was 14 that almost had us banned from all Pepsi sponsored tournaments because she loudly displayed her temper and would smash her tennis racquet on the ground when she made a mistake. We only played together for one year. I was embarrassed by her behavior.

Sadly, that type of behavior is considered acceptable these days. It is pervasive in Politics, Religion, Business, and in Sports. We have a generation that is observing conduct that would have been considered unacceptable when I was growing up. We are witnessing a John McEnroe, child-like temper tantrum. We are witness to a lack of control and diplomacy everywhere we turn. I admit John McEnroe was entertaining at the time, but he was out of the norm. His outbursts and behavior seem relatively tame compared to what we see today in all facets of our society. I am pleasantly surprised and shocked when I do observe good, decent and respectful conduct. Where did it go? I mourn for respectful interactions driven by the desire to be a good person.

We have entered the danger zone. We live in a society that is emulating disrespect, shame and aggression. We are exposing a generation to a slurry of unacceptable behavior that has been normalized to chaos, drama and aggression. There is a terrible reveling in the failure and demise of people, businesses, political parties. When I learn of an independent restaurant closing its doors, I don’t cheer, I mourn. I put myself in their shoes, their struggles, their heartbreak. We as a society require more empathy and understanding.

Where are those coaches and referees with their whistles and penalties to right and officiate this crazy new game that I don’t recognize nor want to participate. There are no firm handshakes, no looking each other in the eye declaring “good game!”

We have to change the game. A new playing field is in order. The playing field is in our own backyards. Let’s start there, it seems less daunting, more meaningful and its tangible.