top of page

Childless Mother

I knew at a very young age I never wanted children. I was either born without a biological clock or it was buried under 6 feet of concrete. My first mother-in-law said to me after being married to her son less than a year, “We aren’t going to get any grandchildren from you, Amy, you are too career oriented!” My retort to her was, “What are you talking about? You have two lovely grand dogs! As a matter of fact, I am going to get you a bumper sticker that reads, “Have you hugged your grand dogs today?” I wasn’t a model daughter-in-law, nor did I ever make an effort to be one!

Truth be told I did have a small pang of regret after reading the DaVinci Code. I thought to myself, how sad, as a woman I am a vessel of life and I am choosing not to create that life. That lasted about 30 seconds. I haven’t looked back. I love kids. I just never wanted any of my own. Perhaps, I am just a coward. It takes a lot of courage to be a parent.

I do, however, get to be a voyeur witnessing Richard and his relationships with his adult children. He has four beautiful children. All very different. They are the same in the important ways. Every one of them is thoughtful, generous, self reflective, embody a great sense of humor, and they are intelligent. I am so impressed with them predominantly because they are good and decent human beings. When things began to get serious with me and Richard, as in, we were engaged, I said to his  kids, “You have mothers, you don’t need another one (besides they were too old to have a step mother) and I want to be called Amy.” Settled.

I am aware that raising kids is a  complete and total challenge and not all children have the benefit of good parenting. When I declare that I have never had children (bipedal) I am reminded that I am a parent to all of the young adults who have chosen to work at Out of the Fire. My hope is that they reflect back on their time at Out of the Fire with fondness and not terror. I hope it has been a place that improved their self esteem by adding confidence and resilience to their life skills.

So, to all of my Out of the Fire children, be comforted knowing Out of the Fire will always be here as a safe space where you are welcome and will always be greeted with a hug and a great meal.

29 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page